Back in Helsinki

Yo! Sorry for not writing in a while, I've been re-adjusting to living in Finland. Though, there's not that much to adjust myself into, which makes it stupid that after a month I'm still generally confused about everything. Well. Almost everything in my life has changed, so I don't blame myself for being 'inefficient in adjusting into change in life situation'. Over these past couple of years I've gained some experience in this and I know that your new life in a new place doesn't always start overnight without efforts. You need to find your style of life and everything around that. But enough of wrist slitting here.

I like being back here. As I said, much has changed in my life, but the most important has remained - my friends are still here.

And it's good to be back Helsinki. As many of my fellow town dwellers do, I love Helsinki. This is a city with strong identity and nice atmosphere, and one of the things that make this place really cool is the fact that, I'd dare to say, most of the people really like to live here. It's not a place which people dreamed getting out of. It feels like home here.

Here are some pics from Suomenlinna. It's an island part of Helsinki.

Gunmen.

Boat.

Sunset. Tiny Helsinki in the background.

Estonia

Where am I from? I'm from Estonia. My parents are Estonian, their parents and grand parents, and so on, were Estonian. So, so was I born Estonian in the year 1987. I lived my first years in Tallinn. However, after the collapse of the Soviet Union a job opportunity in Finland opened up for my father. My parents decided to move to Finland. And we moved into a town on the west coast, called Rauma, the third oldest city in Finland founded in 1442. There I grew up, surrounded by culture and history.

As a little child I learned the language in an instant, and I never really felt anyhow less capable at functioning in the Finnish culture as any other kids. Nevertheless I did live in a fully bilingual and bi-cultural surrounding. My home and my family were Estonian, and everything else - school, friends, hobbies, culture - was Finnish. Looking back at it I'd say it was the highest form of integration: belonging to the new culture and keeping, not forgetting the old culture. Though it should be noted that Finnish and Estonian cultures don't clash that easily.

When I was little, we used to spend our summer and winter vacations in Estonia, visiting our relatives. However when I grew older, my parents didn't drag me with them anymore. Therefore I didn't visit Estonia that often anymore. And if I did visit it, it was with my Finnish friends, as tourists. Because of that, I kind of grew apart from the place where I was from. I sort of forgot what it was like, how it was over there and how it felt to be part of it. I didn't feel like part of it anymore. I felt like it was a culture and a place I didn't belong in anymore. I'm not joking, I kind of felt I wasn't welcome there as a common Estonian anymore.

Therefore I considered myself Finnish, nothing else. But I went to Estonia this summer. I was coming from Prague and Berlin, alone, without a permanent address, only with my backpack. And it changed it all.

I went to my mum's place in Southeast Estonia. She had moved to the countryside. There I lived without a need to know what time it was nor what day it was. Simple. Stress free. Altogether a very lovely way of being. We drove to different cities and places, met family and friends. And in the middle of this I, in a rather romantic way, started developing my national identity as Estonian.

I speak the language! I know how to act in the culture! I know how to behave in social situations! I am a fucking citizen of the country! Why would I ever think I wasn't welcome there??

I have to say, that... I'm happy. I'm very, very happy that I realized and experienced this. I still consider myself Finnish. But now I also consider myself Estonian. I know, it's complicated. But that's often the case with life. Things are not black and white. I don't feel like I wasn't complete or have less than others. I feel like I've been given more.

There are lots of people like me in the world. People, who cannot quite answer where they're from. But that doesn't have to be a weakness. I wish you'd all enjoy the best parts of the life you've been given.

Life is good. :)

When it gets tough

Well, as you might have noticed I haven't been updating my blog too often these past weeks. I've been out. Remember how I was talking about how super it is when it's summer? Well it is. I've been out day and night enjoying life with my friends and the joys summer and this city have to offer. But I have to say, that nothing lasts forever. Okay, maybe some things do. But not here in Prague. Since most of my friends here are foreigners, who have come here to work or study only for a while, it's anticipated that there will be a time they leave. Many of my friends have left. But only some, there are lots of wonderful people still in Prague. But I'm leaving too. Every once in a while my thoughts race to the coming fall and the following year. They're not satisfied anymore with only knowing that the sun is shining and I'm wearing shorts and flip flops.

Sometimes, when things are going pretty damn good and you're racing higher in everything you do and you feel almost invincible, life kindly lifts up its hand and gives you a huge slap on your face. You feel like shit. But the thing is that you shouldn't hide under your blanket and suck your thumb. You have to get up, stand on your two feet and keep going. Or turn around. Be a big girl. Or a big boy.

The city feels like my living room. It's not strange anymore. My footsteps follow me on the pavement on which I've walked many times before. If my stay here was an arch, I'd have passed the top point and I'm sliding to the end. I'm being a bit too dramatic now. I still have a month to go. And I'm gonna enjoy it to the blast. I mean, what else would I do? ;)

Random pics of my activities:

International Choir of Prague getting ready for performance. When you get together with them, you know that you're gonna have a great time :) that's what I love about them.

ICP!

An encounter with a snail on my walk to Letná. Life is beautiful when you enjoy the little things.

The best time of the working day - lunch hour. :) We go to the park, for a walk, to our usual restaurant where we get discount... Today we went to the riverside.

Spring time, feeling good!

Hey y'all! It is spring! It's lovely. The city is getting more beautiful all the time. The flowers, the trees, the sun, the scents of different flowers, the warm breeze... A couple of weeks ago it was like summer, but now it's raining. But hey, there's lots of good weather to come, just be patient.

It's not only spring outside though. There's a spring in me! :D Really.

When I came here, I felt a bit lost, and a bit lonely from time to time. I didn't really know where to put myself and where to grab on.

Getting used to your new environment as an exchange student was utterly easy. You were put to live in the same house, study on the same courses and party together with the same awesome people, and of course you immediately made a lot of friends with whom you spent a lot of time with, and who were in the exact same position as you were. So, with these incredible memories in mind I came here. And of course it's different when you go to another country alone. Thoughts like "am I ever going to have as much fun as I did before" were going through my head although I tried to be positive.

But my feelings started to change pretty much immediately after I started to get more friends. I can probably point out on a calender that "after this and this party and these get-togethers and this weekend trip I started to feel pretty damn happy!" :D

Dear everyone, if you are in this situation, trying to work your way in a new environment, new country, new culture, trying cope with the everyday life and enjoy it at the same time, I have an answer to you. And this is not just based on my own experience, but also on what I have heard from so many other people living in a foreign country.

Things get better, easier and more fun, when you meet new people and get friends. You start to enjoy your life in the new place, and the problems you have been experiencing, they don't feel that heavy anymore. Some people make good friends instantly, for some people it might take 3 weeks, and for some people it might take 6 months. But the thing that connects these people, is that their lives changed from the shades of gray into bright colors after they started getting friends and booking their evenings with dinner parties, karaoke nights, and random get-togethers...

Smile, and let the spring come into you! :)

Here are some pics from what it is like at the moment in Prague.

A preview of the summer a couple of weeks ago.

The same park (which is on may way to work) last week.

Rain and rain... but it'll get better, I'm sure about that! :)

Today is a beautiful day!

Today was a great day! Nothing extraordinarily great happened - except the fact that spring filled the streets with a lovely warm breeze and the sun made people smile - but today I felt happy.

I am finally getting adjusted to my new environment. Everything is not strange and unfamiliar anymore. I'm feeling more confident all the time. I live here! Hehhee :D

I don't know how to put this all into words. In practice nothing much has changed, only how I see things and how I feel about myself in new situations. I feel good now.

I feel happy! :)

Today at work I was listening to dance music with my headphones and I just couldn't sit still in my chair! :) Tomorrow is Friday... awesome.

Nighty night and hope tomorrow will be at least as great! :)

Settling in

...to Prague!

I have a room in the center, a nice job, I'm surrounded by great people, but I have to admit that I'm having some growing pains.

What I'm doing now is something I've never done before. Even though I have my co-workers, flatmates and friends, I'm alone in the sense that no one is going to take my hand and walk me through.. anything. I'm not an exchange student following the crowd to classes and parties, I'm an actual "grown up" person who came to a foreign country, alone, to live and to work.

I'm definitely not unhappy, just the opposite, but at times I've felt a bit uncomfortable. But I'm very motivated to get through this. Because right now I'm going through a learning process on many levels. How to get by in everyday life, how to behave in this new culture, how to communicate, how do the people here see things, what do the people here think about me, who am I, really?

When you're in your normal surroundings, with the people you know, doing the things you usually do, you feel comfortable (and that is a good thing, of course), but you have stopped learning. When you do something new, and it doesn't quite work out at the beginning, and you're feeling uncomfortable because of it, it means that you're learning. But if you keep trying, bad feelings will turn into good ones, and you will become better in it.

That is why I'm motivated. I believe that I will become stronger, more socially skilled and perhaps even mature after this.

Just to lighten the end of this post I wanna tell you that I'm absolutely enchanted by the bright moon above the old town. When I'm walking down the narrow streets of the old town at night, I almost feel like I'm in a different time. All I need is a dress, a wig and powder! :)

Greetings from Prague!

Day 1. This place is great! :) It’s a very beautiful and warm spring day (the first this year) and I have been walking around the whole day... and now I’m starting to feel a bit tired... :)

 Say hello to my new hometown! :)

This morning a really nice guy, Miko, was really helpful, practically taking me to the center and letting me leave my (huge) backpack to his place for the day. Thank you!

As I said, after that I’ve just been walking around the town getting to know the place.

It is beautiful! :) I’m in the heart of Europe! Yeah, yeah, I know what you Austrians are thinking, but check the map again, clearly Prague is in the center ;)

I’m feeling like I did a year ago when I went to Seoul: excited about everything. Only the skyscrapers and tiny houses and steaming dumplings have changed into castles and medieval churches. It’s like a fairytale! :D Hahaha, I love to swell in this euphoria, better enjoy it as long as it lasts. Because soon I will get used to everything that right now feels so great here.

I have been taking pictures about everything… I look like a tourist, walking around with a camera hanging around my neck (how lame is that) (but I do have a cool strap though…), but… there is a fundamental difference between me and the tourists. I am not a tourist, I’m just new. Seriously, it’s February and the tourists are already roaming the streets and bridges in the center. If I survive the spring and the summer (that is when the invasion is supposed to be the biggest) here, I will survive anything.

Here are some pics I took:

 

Vltava.

  

 Tram.

  

 The entrance to Charle's Bridge.

  

 Old Town Square.

I was walking in the Old Town, and it was so magical! It’s like a maze! Even though I knew approximately to which direction I was heading, there is no way that I would ever happen to walk the exact route again. There are small alleys and narrow streets all curving to their own direction. I would have wanted to take pictures there, but at first I was too hungry to take pictures and after eating I was too lazy… so the pictures from the Old Town you’re gonna have to wait for a bit longer.

I checked out apartments. I love the old architecture here! The apartments were all nice, and I actually already made a decision where to move. And I’m actually already here. This place is in the center, I mean, the location is just perfect. The flat itself is pretty old, not one of the fancy renovated ones, but other things here make up for it. :)

Day 2. When I came here I didn’t have a place to live, nor a place to stay for the night. Adventurous… But everything worked out so well! I came to see this apartment, and when we talked, it turned out that I didn’t have a place to stay and they have a couch,,, so why not stay here for the night. :)

So I got a mattress in the living room floor, got a good night sleep after a long day and woke up when the roommate’s cat came to roll around on my pillow, next to my head, and fell asleep there. :) His name is Mini-Me and he’s super cuddly and cute!

Now I’m waiting for my flatmate Vinny to come back from work and we’ll have lunch together.

I’m so happy and glad that everything worked out so well! Hmm, well, I’m getting a little nervous about my first day at work… but other than that everything’s been so nice!

Day 2 night. The reason why I'm writing this post in parts like this, is that I haven't had a chance to post it to the internet. So I keep adding stuff to it... But now I don't really have anything to add to it :)... just a couple of photos.

 

  

  

Good night!

The Finnish way

I'm getting back to the life in Finland. It's cold outside, light in the night and not a soul anywhere. The only sign of life outside of your house is the occasional nordic walker passing by.

I have eaten rye bread, potatoes, salmon soup, vispipuuro, salmiakki ice cream, Finnish chocolate, drank milk and apple cider.

I have gone to sauna and swam in a lake.

I have walked the dog in the woods.

On a walk with Donna.

I have learned to dress warm before going outside. It's summer after all...

I have explored the bookshelf, where there are such books as: Marriage - the Estonian way, Happy pregnancy, Introduction to Feng Shui, Russian sayings in pictures, and Astrid Lindgren's Pippi Långstrump from 1969 where Pippi's dad is on an island with negros, and he's a negro king.

I have also had a good time. After all, I have spent time with my little sisters whom I have missed so much. We have played airplane, foot game and boat in a storm. These are their favourite games, but so exhausting for me... We have also:

Had ice cream in the marketplace after looking at hamsters in the pet store.

Read childrens books in the library.

And had even more ice cream...

Even though it's energy consuming to bustle around with the girls, it's also rewarding... They're so sweet!

Here Carola is singing a song about the animals in the book. It ends to the words "my song was like this". So cute!

Back home

After 5 months, 8 countries, dozens of parties, heartful of friends, millions of laughters, and countless good memories, I'm back in Finland. Life is bitter.

I expected some sort of grand feeling of home when coming back to Finland. I thought everything will be easy - well everything is, nothing is hard or anything - but there's something missing. There are people. There is a language I speak. But I realized what home is made of. It's not necessarly a piece of land or a certain society. Home is where the people you love are. Home is a feeling.

Do I have a home-feeling here? I do. But I don't need to be here to feel like home. And that gives me courage to travel in the future. Which I can't wait for! :)

Anyway, what is good or bad here?

Cons:

There is no one anywhere. At least compared to the 10 million people cities I just came from. It feels almost scary to look at the empty streets...

It's cold! Having spent months in 25 + degrees with humidity getting close to 100 %, stepping out of the airplane in Finland was almost shocking. It's July and people here have to wear jackets!

Stores close in the evening. Why, oh why?? Why can't I go to the store around the corner at 3 am to buy strawberry milk, beer and a microwave burger?? Who are that kind of regulations for? Stores closing... The world would be a lot better place if I had a chance to buy whatever I want even in the night...

Everything is soo expensive!! Again whyy... Imma have to go to work now, because the student money aint enough for anybody with these prices!

Pros:

The air is clean. It smells good. Most of all it's fresh. I could go outside just to breathe. Yesterday (when I had to run to the grocery store before it closed...) I almost needed a paper bag to keep me from fainting because I was gasping for air trying to get one more smell of the fresh, evening breeze with the scent of green grass and flowers.

And most of all, all the people I'm gonna meet. Mum, dad, little brothers and sisters, friends whom I love and have missed.

Now I have to go to sleep, because I'm still in Asia time - a bit ahead of the clock.

Finally pictures!

Here are pictures from my first moments in Korea. You can click them and they get bigger :P



When I arrived at Incheon International Airport it was wonderful to see the sun shining :) In Finland during the winter it's always cloudy and gray. You can't hardly ever see the sun shining bright.



A guy from our university's "HI-club" (the HI stands for help and information) came to pick me up from the airport. We took a bus to Seoul. I was so excited for the new environment so I even took a picture of the TV on the bus. >__<
After dropping my stuff at the dorm we went to grab lunch on this street close to my university. It's really lively with lots of young people and restaurants and other amusements.



This was my first meal in Korea :P It wasn't traditional Korean, more like Asia-fusion.



We also went to see my new university. This is the I guess main building that was built for the university's 600th anniversary. The Sungkyunkwan University was founded in 1398 and is the oldest university in Korea. Alltogether there are like 20 buildings on the campus.



Here is the view from the hill my university is on. If you zoom to the horizon you see that it's not land there, they're high rise buildings. I felt like a real small town girl because it was the first time I saw that kind of view in real life!

I took pictures around the neighborhood where my dorm is. It's a bit older part of the city but I love it! It's so different from Finland. In Finland everything very regulated: parking, open hours of stores, noise you can make on the street... I don't know how it is with the permissions here, but this.. you just couldn't have in Finland! Right now I'm high on this whole cultural difference thing. Everything is so new, fantastic and exotic. Well, I'll just enjoy the feeling :)


Wires, wires, wires... I think they're lovely in their own disorderly way! (This would never be in Finland...)



On the street to my dorm.



Just outside of the gate to my university.



Want a quick snack? Crave for something hot and spicy? Wanna get it cheap? Try this or some other of the countless food booths in Seoul!

I'm in Seoul!

Phew... I'm now yet lagged... But happy! I'm finally here!

I've got a long day behind me. I guess it already started yesterday. I started the packing process day before my departure which was definitely too late. I didn't have trouble choosing what to take but what to leave. I had to make real sacrifices to get my suitcase weigh 20 kg. Luckily I could take also 8 kg to the plane. Plus I wore many clothes on top of each other ;)

Finnair seems to put a lot of effort to it's new Asia routes. There was all kind of Korean specialties such as bibimbap for dinner. It also included kimchi, red pepper paste and sesame oil in their little jars. Since last time I flew on Finnair I ate a half chilly half lukewarm "omlet" that tasted hideous, I was kinda pleased with the food now.

The only downside about the flight was that I couldn't get any sleep! Whyyy? (I'm soo tired right now but I'm trying to get myself into this time zone.) After the flight I felt kinda horrible. Physically of course. My mind was happy. I'm so tired...

But! I'm really enthusiastic about this neighborhood where my dorm is! My "buddy" (from my university's HI-club) took me to my dorm from the airport. I will post the pics later, when the internet at the dorm starts working. That brings me to another thing. Since the internet doesn't work at the dorm, I went out looking for an internet cafe. I asked directions from several workers at stores and cafes and seriously, they all spoke really poor English. I'm so glad that I learned some phrases and words and stuff in Korean. And of course it's possible to understand each other by using hand gestures. Well, I kept walking and finally saw a sign: PC bang! It's a place where Korean kids and adults play videogames and apparently also eat. And smoke. So here I am! Next to a child who's playing some bright colored videogame with happy music on the background.

Next I might take the subway to this big sightseeing/shopping place. Or walk around and take more pictures. It's spring here :)